Teleshopping. 0800 0600 The One That Could Have Been (2): In the friends' continuing speculative fantasy, Ross initiates a threesome with his wife and her female friend but it doesn't go the way he wanted. 0830 0800 The One With Unagi Chandler and Monica agree to give each other homemade presents for their six-month anniversary and Ross tries to teach martial arts to Rachel and Phoebe. 0900 0830 The One Where Ross Dates a Student When a fire damages their apartment, Rachel and Phoebe must choose between living with Joey or Monica. Ross gets into trouble by dating a student. 0930 0900 The One With Joey's Fridge Ross tries to contain his paranoia when his student girlfriend goes on spring break with her wild friends. 1000 0930 The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E Joey auditions for a major television role, but Chandler almost ruins everything by forgetting to write down a telephone message. 1030 1000 The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad Ross fails to impress his girlfriend's father (Bruce Willis). Joey gets off on the wrong foot with the operator of his robotic co-star. 1100 1030 The One Where Paul's The Man While Ross and Elizabeth are on a romantic weekend getaway at her family's cabin, Elizabeth's father (Bruce Willis) and Rachel show up unexpectedly. 1130 1100 The One With The Ring Chandler finds the perfect engagement ring, and then loses it. Rachel tries to get Paul (Bruce Willis) to reveal his emotions, but now he can't stop blubbering. 1200 1130 The One With The Proposal (1): Chandler's romantic marriage proposal is ruined when Monica's former boyfriend (Tom Selleck) returns. Joey accidentally buys a boat at a silent auction. 1230 1200 The One With The Proposal (2): Chandler fools Monica into believing he hates the idea of marriage, but his plan backfires as she seeks consolation with Richard (Tom Selleck). 1300 1230 The One With Monica's Thunder Monica excitedly reveals the good news of her engagement to everyone, but Rachel and Ross upstage her by reuniting. 1330 1300 The One With Rachel's Book Joey finds out that Rachel is reading a steamy romance novel and Monica discovers that her parents have spent the money for her wedding on a beach house. 1400 1330 I Called Him Magoo Exclusive to Comedy Central. Alan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with his new girlfriend Lyndsey, but things just aren't going as planned. 1425 1400 The long running series of comedy movies comes to an end with the bungling academy recruits sent to Russia to aid their erstwhile Cold-War enemies. Christopher Lee and Ron Perlman star (1994). Film 1600 1425 China Brand new and exclusive. Michael is spooked by the economic rise of China and decides something needs to be done about it. Dwight exerts his power as building owner over Dunder Miffin. 1630 1600 Leap Day Brand new and exclusive. Liz is perplexed by never having heard of Leap Day Williams but her days get a whole lot stranger when she bumps into an old college friend. Jim Carrey guest stars. 1700 1630 The One With Monica's Thunder Monica excitedly reveals the good news of her engagement to everyone, but Rachel and Ross upstage her by reuniting. 1730 1700 The One With Rachel's Book Joey finds out that Rachel is reading a steamy romance novel and Monica discovers that her parents have spent the money for her wedding on a beach house. 1800 1730 Gumby With a Pokey Exclusive to Comedy Central. Charlie is given prescription marijuana to cope with his insomnia, and is then haunted by the ghosts of past girlfriends. 1830 1800 This Is Not Gonna End Well Exclusive to Comedy Central. Charlie loses his driving license so Jake has to drive him around. Meanwhile, Alan goes to Chelsea's birthday party. 1900 1830 The Dress Brand new and exclusive. With the wedding three weeks away Molly hits a new fitness regime hard - which results in a run in with the law! Mike wonders just what he's letting himself in for. 1930 1900 Oh Look! Al-Qaeda! Brand new and exclusive Two and a Half Men, starring Ashton Kutcher. 2000 1930 The One With Monica's Thunder Monica excitedly reveals the good news of her engagement to everyone, but Rachel and Ross upstage her by reuniting. 2030 2000 The One With Rachel's Book Joey finds out that Rachel is reading a steamy romance novel and Monica discovers that her parents have spent the money for her wedding on a beach house. 2100 2030 Joining Jack tonight is the terribly English Marcus Brigstocke and the wise-cracking American Rich Hall. Pacman, gravity defying Bill Gates and Tom Cruise films all get a good going over. 2200 2100 A bona-fide legend of stand-up whose energetic routine and hilarious observations put many of the new crop to shame, Lee Evans performs here to a sold out O2 arena. 2305 2200 Joining Jack tonight is the terribly English Marcus Brigstocke and the wise-cracking American Rich Hall. Pacman, gravity defying Bill Gates and Tom Cruise films all get a good going over. 0005 2305 Casa Bonita Kyle invites Butters instead of Cartman to his birthday party so Cartman convinces Butters a meteorite is going to hit the earth and puts him in a bomb shelter so that he can go instead. 0035 0005 All About The Mormons A new kid arrives in South Park, Gary, and his family are Mormons. Eric befriends him but becomes disillusioned about the Mormon story. 0105 0035 Butt Out The kids get caught smoking and the school goes up in flames. A radical anti-smoking group arrive in town and want to kill Cartman to prove that second hand smoking kills. 0135 0105 Raisins Stan gets dumped by Wendy and becomes a Goth to wallow in his pain. 0205 0135 Sarah Like Puny Alan Jake spreads a nasty cold around which threatens to ruin Charlie's plans for a double date with Alan. Emmy Award winning comedy on Comedy Central. 0230 0205 I Can't Afford Hyenas Charlie's finances are in disarray so he must rein in his spending, with Alan's help. Meanwhile, Charlie teaches Jake the finer points of sports gambling. 0255 0230 Strike Out The IPS strike is in its third week, and both Doug and Deacon are spending the majority of their days doing very little outside of sleeping all day. 0320 0255 The One With The Birth Mother Monica and Chandler travel to Texas to meet a pregnant woman, Erica (Anna Farris), who is considering them to adopt her child when it's born. 0345 0320 The One Where Chandler Gets Caught Rachel and Phoebe see Chandler getting into a car with another woman. After following him to the surburbs, they suspect he might be cheating. 0410 0345 Baggage Ray and Debra get in a fight about a suitcase that they took on vacation. Will Ray put it away, or will Debra? 0435 0410 The Bachelor Party Debra and Marie give Ray a guilt trip when they find out that the bachelor party he hosted for Robert was a huge disappointment, and then make him throw another one. 0500 0435 Teleshopping. 0600 0500 Teleshopping. 0800 0600